Reform Synagogues Welcome Non-Jewish Spouses
There are many reasons to love Reform Judaism and being a part of a reform synagogue, not the least of which is their willingness to adapt to the modern world and move in ways that welcome new members, no matter their background.
For those in an interfaith relationship, finding the right place of worship can make life a lot easier.
Reform Judaism has long embraced diversity while still preserving time-honored traditions of the religion. I have personally seen the way clergy at my own reform synagogue focus on each member while still providing space for personal introspection. Known for delivering a creative and modern approach to worship, Reform Judaism has a way of meeting people right where they are in their lives.
Recent studies show that 70% of all Jews decide to marry someone outside of the Jewish faith and that approximately two-thirds of intermarried couples raise their children Jewish. Finding the right synagogue that welcomes this diversity is key.
Another caveat of Reform Judaism is their commitment to social justice and tikkun olam—which means to repair the world. Many new members and interfaith families are drawn to this philosophy and want to feel like they can make an impact. After all, it’s hard to avoid a feeling of helplessness, especially in these tumultuous times.
Thankfully, these synagogues provide a platform for members in the form of social action committees and volunteer opportunities in the community. This continues to be a common entry point for countless local, interfaith families.
Rabbi Renee Edelman of Monmouth Reform Temple in Tinton Falls is proud of the way her congregation has welcomed interfaith families.
“We continue to embrace interfaith families on the bema, within our programming, and through the religious school and adult education,” she said. “Unlike other synagogues, we celebrate those who choose to be a part of MRT—those who chose to raise their kids as Jews, take on full parental responsibility in their child’s bar or bat mitzvah, head up committees, sit on the temple board, and are active parts of our temple.”
Temple Beth Miriam, located in Elberon, is another Monmouth County Reform Synagogue that places a strong emphasis on its interfaith population. Kara Zappacosta has been a member for several years and started an interfaith group in the synagogue. The group consists of members of interfaith families or those who are unaffiliated but interested and open about all aspects of being in the congregation.
“We have a lot of interfaith families; it’s just in our DNA as a temple,” she said. “Our rabbi includes non-Jewish spouses in everything and they are encouraged to share their thoughts and viewpoints with the community as a whole. We typically meet around the holidays and have found that grandparents specifically have benefited from the meetings. Listening to the intergenerational voices describe their holidays and traditions was really helpful and informative.”
Fay Szakal, a non-Jewish member of Monmouth Reform Temple in Tinton Falls has been part of the congregation for several years and has always felt welcome.
“Even though I am not the Jewish parent, this synagogue has embraced my participation in the Religious Education Committee and all things having to do with my children’s Jewish education. I have been invited to the bema for prayers, and I feel at ease and welcome in the sanctuary. Our cantor has provided me with a CD of recordings of the prayers so I can learn them, and I am always sharing my experiences with other congregants who are eager to learn about my upbringing and what I find new and exciting in Judaism,” she said.
The days of gate keeping and keeping interfaith couples away from the religion are long gone. Today, it’s about creating a welcoming atmosphere and being receptive to questions about the rituals of Judaism—no matter who you are.
Gena Ansell-Lande is a contributing writer to My Jewish Learning and Jlife Magazine.
