Donald B. Lacey Display Garden
Homage to mother is nothing new to Jews.
Mother’s Day, both vilified as a commercial ploy and, just as often, marked with heartfelt celebration, is often portrayed as an American institution forming the template for other such holidays around the globe. Yet, its roots reach back to the earliest experiences of the Children of Israel as a nation. The duty to honor one’s parents is set forth in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12), and the duty to revere them appears shortly thereafter, while they still found themselves in the shadow of Sinai. (Leviticus 19:3). Elaborating on these commandments, King Solomon, in his guide to the good life, differentiated between the parents by abjuring us not to forget the teachings of our mother, as opposed to the principles of our father (Proverbs 1:8), and ended the book as we begin every Shabbos, with an acrostic ode to the mother of the household (Id. 31:10-31). Presumably, the obligations owed to one’s parents in general and mother in particular were constant: nowhere in Scripture is there a suggestion that they should be limited to—or even emphasized on—a particular day. Rather, we owe the holiday of Mother’s Day, which dates officially from 1914 to activist Anna Jarvis.
While thought to have been the brainchild of Miss Jarvis, it is more likely that the national adoption of Mother’s Day was an idea whose time had come. Mothering Sunday was an early medieval Christian holiday that was celebrated in the United Kingdom, Ireland and other English-speaking countries as a break from the strictures of Lent, much like Lag B’Omer, but the eponymous mother was metaphorical, rather than literal, as it referred to the Mother Church–i.e., the individual’s first church. Over time, the holiday took on a secular aspect, and the tradition arose for children to present their mothers with flowers. Before the turn of the twentieth century, however, this observance had become largely obsolete. In nineteenth century America, nonetheless, the recollection must have remained alive—even if only subconsciously—as a number of Mother’s Day predecessors were instituted independently after the Civil War.
Ann Reeves Jarvis, the mother of Anna Jarvis, had set up Mother’s Day Work Clubs in West Virginia to educate local women. She went on to establish Mother’s Friendship Day in 1868 to bring former Confederate and Union Soldiers together. In 1873, Suffragette Julia Ward Howe advocated for the establishment of a Mother’s Peace Day to be observed on June 2. At the same time, small, local Mother’s Day celebrations were popping up in schools and churches. In 1908 Anna Jarvis, who herself never married or became a mother, established the first national Mother’s Day, where the custom of wearing a white carnation—her mother’s favorite—was introduced. She then began a letter-writing campaign to add it officially to the national calendar; it bore fruit six years later.
Mother’s Day is one of the most important holidays for the floral industry, second only to Valentine’s Day, and selections go far beyond white carnations. Not so coincidentally, non-profit organizations often hold plant and flower sales around this time. If you are willing to head north, there are a few sales where you can pick up a plant as a gift before Mother’s Day or make the sale an event in itself.
Laurelwood Arboretum in Wayne is a combination arboretum and sculpture garden. This year’s plant sale will be held on Saturday and Sunday (May 10 and 11) from 9:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. in conjunction with Green Fields, an exhibit of paintings by New Jersey-based artist Andrea Geller at the arboretum’s Knipperberg Center, open from 12:00 to 4:00 p.m. If you do not want to wait until the last minute to get the right plant, Montclair’s Van Vleck Gardens will hold a plant sale the weekend before Mother’s Day, May 2 and 3 from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. and May 4 from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. A concert is scheduled for Mother’s Day itself at the Van Vleck House. Reservations are strongly suggested. The New Jersey Botanical Garden in Ringwood is also holding its plant sale on the weekend before Mother’s Day, from 9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. on May 3 and 4. On Mother’s Day the lilac garden will be at its peak, with members of the Garden’s lilac team on hand to answer questions, and a guided tour of the Garden will begin at 2:00 p.m.
Alas, there are no major Mother’s Day oriented plant sales in Monmouth and Middlesex Counties this year. The Rutgers Gardens plant sale has already been held as part of Ag Field Day on April 26 on the Cook Campus, not at the Gardens, although Rutgers Gardens are open Tuesday through Sunday from 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and are well worth a trip. If the prospective honoree is willing to accept a rain check, the Monmouth County Master Gardeners Spring Garden Days Plant Sale will be held at the Agriculture Building in Freehold the following Friday, May 16 from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. and Saturday, May 17 from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. In addition to all types of plants, from annuals to trees, there will be home and garden decor for sale, horticultural talks and demonstrations, guided garden tours and question and answer sessions with master gardeners.
But, you have hay fever? You’re allergic to bee stings? You think digging the dirt refers to lashon hara? If you’d prefer to return to a time before even a white carnation was more than you had to deal with, this Mother’s Day you can indulge in an orgy of history courtesy of the Monmouth County Park System. Start in Locust for a visit to Portland Place, the restored eighteenth century house in Hartshorne Woods Park. Tours are given at 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 and 2:30 p.m. If you take an early one, you will have time to head over to Holmdel Park to visit another eighteenth century home with period furniture, the Holmes-Hendrickson House, with tours scheduled every half hour from 12:00 to 2:30 p.m. From there, you can go to Bayshore Waterfront Park in Port Monmouth to visit early eighteenth century Seabrook-Wilson House, which will open at 1:00 p.m. If you would like to see something a little more recent and don’t mind a bit of a drive, you can then visit a nineteenth century gristmill at Historic Walnford in Upper Freehold for a fifteen-minute demonstration scheduled every hour beginning at 12:30 until 3:30 p.m.
Does this all sound too exhausting? Maybe Mom would just like to relax. Here’s a thought: Have Dad and the kids drop her off at Freneau Woods Park in Aberdeen at 10:00 a.m. for an hour of Mother’s Day Yoga. Then give her the rest of the day off.
Sue Kleinberg is a contributing writer to Jlife Magazine.
